He Sent His Wife A Dear John Letter And Instantly Regrets It

He Sent His Wife a Dear John Letter and Instantly Regretted It

Sometimes, letters from loved ones bring despair rather than joy. In this humorous tale, a husband decided to break up with his wife through a letter, only to instantly regret it.

Dear Wife, “I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever! the case, I’m gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!”

Dear Ex-Husband, “Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I DID notice when you got a haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.”

Despite all, she had hoped to work things out and had even quit her job after winning $10 million. Her letter concluded, “Everything happens for a reason, I guess. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care. Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich & Free!”

Related Posts

A pissed-off wife was complaining about her husband spending all.

A irate wife complained that her husband spent all of his free time in a pub. So one night, he took her with him. “What’ll you have?”…

On Friday, an elementary school teacher poses her students a challenge

School Challenge and Surprising Student Reactions On Friday, an elementary school teacher challenged her students: “If you can tell me who said the following quote, you don’t…

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock

A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning by a loud pounding on the door…… A man and his wife are awakened…

The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons

Grandpa’s IRS Audit The IRS decides to audit Grandpa and summons him to their office. He arrives with his attorney, which doesn’t surprise the auditor. The auditor…

A blonde walks into the police department looking for a job.

Blonde Job Interview A blonde walks into a police department seeking a job. The officer begins with some basic questions: Officer: “What’s 2+2?” Blonde: “Ummmmm… 4!” Officer:…

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him

Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois Lane beside him…… Clark Kent was lying in his death bed with his wife Lois…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *